you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Let's get the cat blown out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
