He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
