I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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