YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
