Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
