i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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