We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have already put on my inside pants.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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