remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
