Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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