you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
