you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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