Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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