He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
