Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize