Ambien. No doubt about it.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
