it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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