I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
