just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I need a beard to bite.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
