I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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