Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
