omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
