Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
