I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
