Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
