I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
