Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
