Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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