You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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