I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
