u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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