with your own penis?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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