we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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