What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
