Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
His nipple licking is glorious
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize