yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
