if you like me you must not know who I am
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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