how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
