i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
