I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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