Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
