Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
