I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
