I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
