i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
whose parrot is this?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
