Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize