whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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