One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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