I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
