Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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