At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
