WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize