I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I AM VODKA MAN
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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