Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I wear drunk well.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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