In the future we'll all be gay
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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