whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
