Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
