Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
