you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
