this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize