bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
