i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
