I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
