I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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