Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
