let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Come on in and take your pants off
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