so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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