I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
