Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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