This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
