I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
