And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
