I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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