Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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