WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
