I want to have your abortion
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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