Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
