Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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