Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
