Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
