I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
