Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
