Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
