Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
wanna go halves on a baby?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
