So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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