new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
