My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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